Tebow Has Jesus, Brady Has.. Witchcraft?


As much as we hate to encourage anything in the vein of “Tebowing”, this story was too great to pass up.

By now, everyone, including those who aren’t sports fans, are aware that Tim Tebow is the unstoppable Broncos quarterback who literally thanks God after every victory by taking a knee and praying, regardless of what everyone around him is doing. It’s unintentionally hilarious if somewhat uncomfortable to watch. Well, when Tebow faces The Patriots tomorrow, he’ll have to go up against his F-bomb dropping rival’s own secret spiritual weapon.. witchcraft.

Lorelei and Lori Bruno, resident witches from Salem, Massachusetts, are, at the time of this writing, hard at work at casting a spell intended to imbue Tom Brady with  “good mojo” for tomorrow’s showdown.

“You know, when we had our spiritual intervention for Charlie Sheen last year, we had a hard time getting all the girls (witches) to come,” Lorelei told The Boston Herald. “But when we told them this Circle was for Tom Brady, oh, everybody will be there!”

The ceremony is taking place at Crow Haven Corner, the famous town’s oldest occult shop, and will consist of a lot of chanting, “mojo bags” for every Patriots player, a custom sewn Brady puppet, and even a “call to the Angels” – something one might not expect from a coven of witches.

“We want the true champion to come out on Saturday night,” Bruno said. “But since we live in Patriot Land, it’s red, white and blue and make the dream come true!”

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